As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Hello. My name is Brandon, aka GG and I'm a chronic masturbator. I love stroking off to and for women. I love turning a women on because she knows and loves watching me stroke my penis. I'm starting to sound like the weirdo from Peter Files.

For the past 32 days, i have been denied orgasm from Mistress Elizabeth. I adore her and the fun I have with her. She has been very helpful in guiding through this difficult time. I choose to stay frustrated within my testicles, as they inflame and grow larger each day, due to not having any release, like they normally would, 1 to 2 times a day.

Throughout this time of not releasing my sperm, I have seen a transformation within my lifestyle. I do not waste time wanking, when I should be going to work or working on home projects. My social life has always been great but latley, women, especially the one I care about, has been giving me a lot of attention, as well as her friends. I celebrated my 27th birthday at a club, last week; and her and her gorgous friends were throwing themselves at me, left and right. And I have pictures to prove it.

And last but not least, a certain confidence has come over me. It has allowed me to combat any negativity, adversaries or anything else in my way. It's almost like a new me. However, something occured just minutes before I wrote what you are reading.

I was talking to Ms. Elizabeth and wanting to catch up with her, since it has been almost, if not a week since we last talked. When all of a sudden, a since of submission to her every way came over me. I felt like dropping to my knees and asking her, "How may I serve you today?".

I continued to talk with her and I found myself not like the suave guy I am to her. I found myself wanting to know if I may please her, entertain her and serve her. It's almost like I want to surrender and say, "do what you will". However, I am not there, yet.

Before chatting with her, I had a dream of me and a previous female faculty staff member from either college or high school, was in a room with me, dressed in a women's business suit. I found myself, for some reason, knowing she was a dom and begging to be her slave. WTF? Minutes later, when I awoke, I was talking with Ms. Elizabeth and found myself thinking of her as the faculty staff memeber, from my dream.

I want to release infront of my mistress. She may find it nasty, but I want her to have some fun with me and humiliate myself for her amusement. There is a duel in my mind. One side says to keep on the right path and the other wants me to go back to my perverted ways. And I wouldn't mind being perverted again. But I love having control over myself.

Fuck it, I want to release infront of my beautiful mistress and continue having fun. My vission is blury. It does feel like I'm in the movie 40days 40nights and I'm walking through the shadow of death.